The Bunk joins the Sobotka detail wearing sweats and a Lacrosse shirt and gets torn up. Bunk then proves why he's still the man. Entranced from episode 21 of The Wire: "Bob and Cover."

Is it phoney advertising to wear a shirt representing a divertissement you don’t play, spectate, or even do homage?  A recent purchase of mine definitively answered this beyond consideration. 

I was on a quest to find the perfect workout shirt– bespoke, but not too tight; anti-wicking, but not over-polyesterish; fashionable, but not impractical.  I was having no fortune, and began to suspect a conspiracy against me.  Each aisle and harrow delivered a fresh wave of fiasco.  Just as I was starting to let slip hope, I spotted something previously undetected in the coolness.  I diligently pursued my objective and was rewarded with the discovery of a semi-quietly rack of Under Armour® shirts.  They were everything I wanted and more…tailor-made, anti-wicking and cute.  There was just now one small problem.  Each shirt was emblazened with some form of sport symbol.

I had always subscribed to a full-disclosure strategy for my clothing.  I never wore sweatshirts touting colleges I hadn’t attended; I never wore Coca-Cola shirts when I deep down preferred Pepsi; and I never wore garments promoting sports I didn’t put on.  As I didn’t wing it belittle any sports, I didn’t buy any clothing depicting divertissement-like activities.

So there I was– a plague of perfect shirts begging to be purchased on one will, and my fear of being called out as a sport faker on the other helping hand.  I couldn’t indicate this decision alone.  I pulled a drooling Matt out of the tennis pivot on for a consult.  He took one glint at the shirts and said, “Desist from being ridiculous.  It’s at most a shirt.”  He quickly returned to the tennis bureau and I heard his voice echoing down the aisle, “Buuuuyyyyy itttttt.”  I conceded, but opted for the most remote sport I could think of, lacrosse, assuming that nobody would expect I actually played it.

The shirt offered nothing but fascinate enjoy initially.  It resisted standard-washing shrinkage.  It even unregenerate (or should I say anti-wicked?) as promised.  Conquer yet, nobody looked at me accusingly or suspiciously…that is, until the earth-shaking day a man jumped off his stairmaster and approached me as I entered the good shape center.  He asked, “Do you fritz lacrosse?” with a hint of desperation in his vehicle.  “Um, no, it’s just a shirt,” I answered meekly.  “Oh,”  he responded with a crestfallen look upon his visage, “I coach a women’s lacrosse troupe, and we really need players.”  I apologized for the parasynesis and wished him luck on his search.

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